hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
