Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
