Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
