i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
