We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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