I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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