I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize