I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
