Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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