"it" just moved
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
