I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
