i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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