I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
