New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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