in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
