I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
