She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
How does it feel to date your dad?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
