did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
only if we run a train.
done.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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