he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
