woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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