I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
