No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
