So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
