dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
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I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
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