I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
