are you still at the devil's house?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Randomize
