Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
