so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
