P.S. I can't hear my feet
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
