She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
