Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
