Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize