People with herpes should wear stickers.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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