just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
