That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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