very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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