so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
and you fell through a lawn chair
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
