so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
