My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
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He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
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I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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