I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I showed him my bush... on skype.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
