That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
