I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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