It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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