You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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