lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize