doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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