oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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