she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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