So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
