Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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