Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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