That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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