Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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