My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
you never un-have a 4some
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
