I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
