Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize