What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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