So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
