We're like a lot better than the average bears
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.