Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
